Wondrous Mechanisms of the Impossible Variety | An All Dice Table

u/DougTheDragonborn I had a time creating another All Dice Table. This time, we created a wondrous machine with a bizarre mix of processes and functions along with the motivations of its creator.

Doug also created the outline formatting, which goes like this: *Overall Description*...
*Size/Position*... *User Experience*. After the display, you see its
true purpose: *Purpose*. It was created by *Creator*... because of
*Creation Circumstances*.

Use it for inspiration, your NPC inventors, or to add some flavor to your PC. However you use it, enjoy it!

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/DnDBehindTheScreen/comments/g4jfb4/wonderous_mechanisms_of_the_impossible_variety_an/

Raw text:

1d20 Roll Overall Description
1. A loud mess of brass gears
2. A crowded array of marble channels
3. Twelve snakes tied to wind chimes swaying in the wind
4. Some string, a squirrel, and a megaphone
5. Books enchanted with various minor prestidigitations set up in sequence
6. Dominos of varying sizes
7. A complicated arrangement of various beakers and flasks filled with strange liquids
8. A series of bones tied together
9. Brilliant colors that dance around a series of mirrors
10. The back half (wheels included) of four close-top wagons hastily nailed together
11. Two-dozen standing hat racks- each wearing four diffent hats- connected by chains and pullies
12. A coup full of mechanical chickens
13. A series of connected triangular plates that shift into the form of a different animal twice a minute
14. A row of hedges with mechanical arms grafted to the trunks that reach out and trim themselves with clippers
15. A rotating dollarama filled with both humanoids and monstrosities
16. A clown figuring juggling pins
17. A captive halfling eating breakfast with its arms tied behind its back
18. About twenty cats following various lasers
19. Clear pipes twisting around one another with liquids of different colors and consistencies
20. Spheres with electricity beaming between them making a tasteful harmony
1d12 Roll Size/Position
1. that rests on the tip of a pen
2. taking up so much space, you have to press against the wall to move by
3. large enough to get an arm stuck between moving parts
4. all inside a small snowglobe
5. floating a two feet above the floor
6. resting on the back of a confused-looking ox
7. condensed enough to fit nicely inside a tankard
8. that’s bending reality in order to fit inside the physical space it occupies
9. that is constantly bouncing due to your footsteps and
10. projected onto the ceiling in three dimensions
11. placed inside a jar that you can flip over
12. which you see through a periscope that
1d10 Roll User Experience
1. showers you in sparks
2. blinds you with orange light
3. shoots hot oil at your feet
4. produces nauseating fumes that burn your eyes
5. smokes and shakes violently
6. reaches for nearby objects and grinds them to dust
7. produces eyes that stare unblinkingly at the user until the process is complete
8. rotates and interlocks with itself to create a new machine
9. makes a horrid noise that it tries to cover up by playing prerecorded clips saying “Nothing to see here. Everything is under control”
10. causes dizziness if you stand to close to it
1d8 Roll Purpose
1. to serve a cup of hot tea
2. to sign an autograph
3. to turn a page in a book
4. to pour a bucket over the guest’s head
5. to manufacture a replica of you in a given material
6. to massage a requested area
7. to fill a tub with soapy water that’s just the right temperature
8. to flip a pancake
1d6 Roll Creator
1. a sheepish gnome scared of loud sounds
2. a prank-loving orc with more time than sense
3. an indecisive naga who changed the purpose of the contraption each time they worked on it
4. an angry ent who wanted to see the world burn
5. a love-sick harpy who needed a good anniversary gift
6. a pair of conjoined ogre twins
1d4 Roll Creation Circumstances
1. their spouse nagging them to get out of bed
2. pure laziness
3. the need to keep busy during a slow workday
4. obligation to create this for an eccentric person who paid them good money

I’m intractable on

  • Reddit (Praising others, Dark Souls theories, and posting my own goodies)
  • Discord (RexiconJesse#2068)
  • Twitter (Bite-sized RPG shenanigans)
  • Instagram (Mostly pictures of costumes)

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